Finding Herself
by Oracle10
Summary: After the death of the witch, Azkadellia needs to find herself.


**Finding Herself**

Az had changed in the five years since the eclipse, physically and mentally. She liked to think she was a happier, better person. It had been amazingly difficult the first few months. Suicide was a frequent subject of meditation. Certainly she had been possessed by an evil witch, but not all of her malevolence had been from the witch. Deep inside, she had blamed DG and her parents and everyone. DG abandoned her, left her to the witch. She blamed her mother; her beautiful, brave, and wonderful mother didn't notice the difference… Didn't save her, didn't even try until it was too late. Her beloved father didn't even notice, the father she had trusted with her deepest secrets and wild fantasies had said and done nothing… Everyone she knew and depended on had failed her. The witch had feed on that anger, the festering mistrust and fear. They cared more for DG than her, it wasn't fair… Az was the one taken by the witch, left to die and it was DG they cradled and worried over. Like Az didn't matter. She'd show them, she'd be Queen and no one would ever think of ignoring her again. Oh she hadn't wanted really to destroy the O.Z. or kill and torture so many people and most of the goals were not her own, but there in the back of her mind she had railed at the fact that in all the O.Z. no one had cared enough to save her and prevent this in the first place. Now, she was free and was forced to face what she had done under the influence of the witch.

It was about three months after the eclipse that a by chance discussion with Raw and Ambrose, not by her choice, led to her great idea. She hadn't wanted to talk with them; she wanted to hide and to be someone else. Raw had picked up on that and it entered the discussion. Ambrose, ever the soul of discretion and diplomacy had told her that wit the witch influencing her since childhood, how could he even know herself to truly blame herself? She had run away from the meeting, probably relieving them of having to be nice to her. She knew they were still afraid of her, with every right. However, Ambrose's words had stuck. Who was she, really? Not the Heir Apparent, not ever again. She was… what? Royalty? Enough of that, enough of drunken power and center of attention. She needed to get away, find herself. The idea kept rolling around until a plan formed.

She ran away, borrowed clothing, changed her hair, and met an amazing person. Az had fled to the country, still fearing to be found or recognized. One night she had stopped by a stagnant creek and saw her reflection. So different from what she knew. Her hair was nolonger glossy, or combed into elaborate styles. A little frizzy and tied back in a pony-tail. Her clothing was stolen from the servents quarters, she looked like the gardening staff. Two days later she realized the error of her ways. It was raining, she had had no food save berries, and mosquitos were more than plentiful. So starving and feeling a complete failure she resigned herself to turning herself in, only to realize she was lost. She searched and finally came across a lonely cabin with a small plot of land marked in fencing. She walked up to the door and knocked.

The door opened a crack and a tall blond woman, looked out warily.

"Yes? What do you want?" Az was suddenly scared again, afraid that this woman might have one of the many she wronged and suddenly felt the desire the flee. She suppressed her inclination knowing she'd just have to face the consenquences.

"I'm sorry, I'm trying to get to the Brick Route, but I'm all turned around. Could you tell me what direction to go in, please?" the woman raised her eyebrows and Az feared for a moment that the woman might just shut the door in her face, but the woman opened the door wider and pointed towards a big oak tree in the front of the house.

"Go in that direction until you reach the creek and then go to your right, it shouldn't be hard to miss." Az turned to leave when a hand reached out and stopped her. "don't be daft! It's pouring out and it's miles to the road. At least stay until it's dry, I've got food to spare. What's your name?" She found herself being ushered inside the cabin, feeling bit like a deer-in-the-headlights.

"My name is Dellia, you can call me Lia. Thank you for letting me stay." There had been a split-second hesitation when saying her name, trying to think of something that wouldn't entirely give her away. Dellia was safe… It was part of her name anyways and she'd only be here for a little bit anyways.

Years later, Az was still at the cabin. The woman who had introduced herself as Alice had ended up letting her stay the night. The next morning Alice had asked Lia if she had anywhere to be immediately and Az hadn't had a ready answer and said no. Promptly, she found herself being assigned to some house old chores and was informed that Alice really could use the help and she could always go tomorrow. A day had turned into a week and a week into a month. Only once did Alice ask about her family, leaving off when Az said she ran away. Over time Alice showed infinite patience, teaching her how to plant vegetable and herbs, how to harvest, to cook, and to keep house. Once a month or more she and Alice would head to a small village a few miles away with whatever they had to spare and trade for other necessities at the market. Lia found life enjoyable; it had been nerve wracking the first time into the village until she realized that no one really recognized her.

Life settled into a routine as time went one. Az tended the herb garden, finding the smells of rosemary and sage very soothing. It was the only time she allowed herself a little magic, just the tiniest amount to help them grow. When she went into the village with Alice, she found time to stop by the Lionel the Baker's Shop, he always made a point to talk with her about current goings on and if she saved enough herbs he'd make a special loaf of bread with the seasonings.

One day after several months went by; Alice announced a trip to Central City. Lia reluctantly agreed to go with her, but was still afraid of being recognized. The trip wasn't so bad, it had changed a lot. The streets were packed and it seemed nicer and cleaner than it had been previously. Az almost fainted though when she saw a poster on a wall that proclaimed Princess Azkadellia missing. She recovered quickly, but realized that if people continued looking for her, her idyllic life might be interrupted. For one hour, Az slipped away and wrote a letter to DG. When Az and Alice were back home and in the village, a notice came about the "Death of Princess Azkadellia". Apparently she had been found in what was left of the tower, having committed suicide. Az felt a great relief, and her spirit was a million times lighter. The rest of the day she skipped around town, lightly humming "Ding dong the witch is dead".

Now, here she was, five years since the eclipse and life was grand. She now lived in her own little cottage next to Alice's. She proudly wore the title of Lia, the Baker's Wife. Today she felt was a special day; today she learned she was pregnant. Of course, the baby would be able to use magic, she had long ago told her husband and Alice that she could do a little bit of magic. She could see herself for who she really was now. Not the witch, not a princess, but plain old Lia. She was the wife of Lionel, she grew herbs and liked the color green, she was going to have a baby, and would grow old taking care of her family.

**The End**

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_Author Note: this was completely off the top of my head and I didn't have a chance to edit really._


End file.
